Guest Service

This is a strange little sketch. It's all about how a guest is allowed into a home, yet is totally ignored. It was written to demonstrate the way in which many Chrsitians invite Jesus into their lives, yet constantly ignore Him.

Cast: Householder(H), a caller (C)

H is sitting down looking at the television. There is a knock at the door.

H (Yawning) That'll be Rhiannon - I am so glad that she has come. (doesn't bother to open the door so the knocking continues) It's so good she's beeen able to come, she has to go to a lot of trouble to reach me ( goes back to looking at the television and knocking continues) I've been really looking forward to her coming! (knocking continues) I guess I'd better get that (goes across and opens the door to meet C who has heavy shopping bags). (in a false way) Rhiannon, what a pleasure to see you (hugs her passionately)
C Mark, it's so good to see you. (sarkily) I'm so glad you could get to the door.
H Oh that's fine. I was busy and it took me a while to get to the door. Now do come in. (rushes back into the living room) I must get those football scores.(looks at telly, picks up the newspaper then stops). I must get a cuppa (as he gets up sees C). Oh, you're still here - do you want a cuppa?
C Why not?
H Because I've got things to do but as I'm making one you might as well have one to (goes off and leaves grumpy looking C on stage who paces looking grumpy).
C (bringing out two cups and saucers) Here you are!
H You might help me with these (dropping bags and taking cup)
C Why, have you broken your arm or something - look, I'm busy now, I need to do the crossword (sits down and opens the paper)
H Aren't you going to do anything for me at all?
H Why should I? I've got things of my own to do. You're prefectly able and healthy to do things yourself. Look, I'm no spring chicken, I've got my health do think of, I can't carry bags. Isn't is just good that I've let you into my home.
C Yes, but what about commitment?
H Commitment - of course I'm commited - I took you out to lunch last Sunday.
C Yes at MacDonald's - It's not what I would call lunch.
H I enjoyed it - besides, it was my treat - what do you think I am, loaded with cash?
C I'm really concerned about the way you treat me.
H What's the problem? I'm considerate aren't I? I've let you into my life. What more do you want? How dare you question my commitment. Give me one good reason that I should even help you get those bags sorted out.
C Well, you are my husband.....!! Both freeze

Mark Reid 2000